Three-match ban! What for Guv?
23rd June 2004
I’m absolutely appalled that Andy Clarke and Lee Hickman have colluded to give me a three-match ban from the Brit Blogger Squad.
It isn’t as if I’ve done a Totti or a Frei. To my knowledge, my behaviour has been impeccable.
“...in a jelous (sic) rage he struck out at the new addition to the team (Lee Hickman) and has ruined it for everyone.”
So now Clarkey has banned me for three games. No inquiry, no chance to tell my side of the story - just banned. Apparently, UEFA were involved, but it seems like a kangaroo court to me. They underestimate my power - they don’t know who they’re messing with. I’ll show ‘em. Wait and see…
Responses
# Lapin responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
Er, sorry to ruin your fun, but I think you forgot to close a tag or something, the text’s gone all borked…
Only joking, but I bet you nearly had a little cry, you big mary. Magic darts!
# Lapin responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
I rescind my last comment. Apart from the bit about the darts.
# Lee Hickman responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
I think the way your reacting speaks volumes.
I have a lot of respect for you Mr Collison but until UEFA and The Boss file a full report, I’m keeping shtum.
# Lapin responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
I feel sorry for Colly. It must traumatic being prosecuted by any kind of marsupial, let alone the noble kangaroo, stately lord of the Bush.
Free the Hockely one!
# Mr. M. Alarkey (pres.) responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
FA UEFA
Established 2004
Brit Blogger Squad ban
Dear Mr Collison,
With reference to your banning from the Brit Blogger Squad for the next three matches, we are writing to offer you our deepest apologies.
The ban was enforced as we believed that you were about to be in breach of our stringent anti-drug policies by your attending of a male pre-marital celebration in a European capital famed for it’s relaxed attitude to drug taking.
Our enquiries have revealed that the ban was enforced in error as we have learned that you will not be attending this celebration, being instead at an open-air concert of popular chart-topping beat combos. The ban has now been lifted.
Our sincerest apologies for the embarassment that this must have caused to both you and your family.
Yours sincerely
Mr. M. Alarkey (pres.)
FA UEFA
# Simon Collison responded on 23rd June 2004 with...
Phew, just had this confirmation (see above) from Mr. M. Alarkey at UEFA. What a relief. To think I’d be stuck in the mud and gush at Glasto not knowing if the ban was still in place. Hurrah!
So, this must mean that Mr. Hickman (for it is he going on the drug-binge under the guise of a stag-weekend) will be receiving aforementioned three-match ban!
Take that Hickers, you stirrer!!!
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