CollyLogic | Simon Collison's Illogical Waffle

Tanks, troops and terror

16th March 2008

Having spent a comfortable Sunday morning reading the newspapers and pondering how best to use my freedom on this wet day, I began to feel compelled to write about the worrying reports coming out of Tibet, ~~a country~~ an “autonomous region” that I have spent many years reading about, hoping to one day visit before its whole identity and heritage is obliterated…

#738 | 16/03/08 | Observations | More >

Found typography

9th January 2008

I’ve finally started a Found Typography Flickr set, just like every other designer. However, this gets off to a great start with wonderful adverts from 1890s/1900s issues of the beautiful Journal of Decorative Art that our Greg found in his house.

#724 | 09/01/08 | Observations Web stuff | More >

The Saga of the Interwebs

17th December 2007

Seven years into the new Millennium, an approximate 26,328 task forces, 3,402 unworking groups, and 5 fantasy comic book heroes are in existence on Earth. The unofficial and invented 2007 consensus of the interwebs discovered that of these 29,735 unworking groups, task forces and comic book heroes, the average working interweb developer was aware of two task forces, 1 working group and a full 5 comic book heroes, but still could not explain what any of them did. The Fellowship of the W3 continued to thrive throughout this period of confusion, despite the onset of crippling apathy and increasing irrelevance. But how did we get to this pivotal stage in the saga of the interwebs, where the arse doth not know itself from the elbow? Your humble and confused author will seek to explain…

#721 | 17/12/07 | Observations | More >

They found my lack of faith disturbing…

26th October 2007

Aggressive new policing in Nottingham.

#715 | 26/10/07 | Observations | More >

The US launch of the iPhone has put the rest of us three months behind, and I’m cross

5th September 2007

I spent the last hour writing a long rant about how every developer outside of the US is now on catch-up.

I wrote about how every day for the last three months I have endured blog posts, links and feeds about the latest cool stuff for the iPhone.
I wrote about developing apps and sites for the little Safari, and how only those in the US can experience this.
I wrote about this being the first time I have witnessed such a major gulf in shared knowledge, and that geographical location should not compromise anybody’s opportunity to develop for the web.
I wrote about my desire for Apple to build a tool into Safari to emulate the iPhone experience (a bit like Opera’s Small Screen View) so that even those without an iPhone could still develop for it.
I wrote about “Cuppa-tea-no” (as Andy Clarke calls it) and I wrote about Eric Meyer’s spot-on dissing of Media Temple for bringing back the “best viewed with” message.
I wrote a lot of stuff that many people in the US would possibly hate me for, and the rest of the world might like me for.
I wrote about the new iPhone Touch giving us Europeans a shot at understanding the iPhone experience.

And then Safari crashed, and I lost my entire article. Bastard. Still, you get my gist, right? It isn’t Apple’s fault, what with phone network politics being central to a worldwide launch, but it still makes me cross.

#710 | 05/09/07 | Observations | More >

@Media Europe 2007 - the usual long-winded rambling overview

10th June 2007

Well, that had to be the best @Media to date. The general consensus was that this year’s conference was a belter on all counts, and personally I thought the presentations were particularly optimistic and positive. Again I’ve got my post-conference verve and spirit back, and can’t wait to plough into the workload tomorrow.

What follows is a fatigue-laden ramble that I probably won’t even spell-check or re-read as I’m cream-crackered and would just like to go to sleep.

Atmedia montage
(Photo credits clockwise from top-left from Rachel Andrew, image of Drew from my slides, Taz Hussain, James Mellor)

A few favourites

I especially enjoyed the thought-provoking presentations of Mark Boulton, Jon Hicks, Hannah Donovan and Simon “Speedy” Willison. As usual, Andy Clarke delivered a cracker, and as usual I was lucky enough to see his presentation twice (don’t ask). I’d love to say that I enjoyed Jason’s talk, but I was far too nervous at that time, so I have no idea what he covered. It looked good though.

High-Noon Shoot-out

I had the pleasure of presenting the High-Noon Shoot-out with Drew, with an impromptu introduction from me old mucker Malarkey. I truly enjoyed banging on in front of a packed room and could have carried on for hours. I decided not to read from my notes, so I may have seemed a little waffly, but I guess that’s OK, even if it meant I didn’t quite remember some of my finely-crafted phrases to counter those Drew was peppering the audience with. I’ve done a panel or two, but it was the first time I’d presented to a big crowd of fellow webheads, so I appreciate any leniancy you gave me. Perhaps the context of the presentation wasn’t very easy for a beginner, but I reckon it went down pretty well.

For the two or three people who took umbridge with our presentation, you need to know that we were deliberately taking the piss

Although they’ll be entirely out of context without Drew’s own slides, I have uploaded my presentation slides as a 2MB PDF. Equally, our presentation was very much a “you had to be there” jobby, as the whole thing was deliberately tongue-in-cheek and presented with so much hammy acting that we’re quite surprised we got away with it. Update: The machine-like Joe Clark has posted his live-blogging notes from our presentation.

That said, a couple of people seemed to think I was suggesting that an accessible website cannot be a beautiful website, but just about anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been building with web standards for six years, write books about such things and wouldn’t compromise any site’s accessibility or usability for love nor money. I did discuss some examples of beautiful and innovative standards-based sites in the presentation, but I think a couple of attendees had simply decided that I was on a standards-bashing rant, or that Drew thinks visual design is pointless. I appreciated the offer of some web standards tuition, but I think it best that I decline.

I guess what we tried to do might have been a little dangerous, but then again, I do believe that irony is one of the more obvious verbal styles. Hey, even Joe Clark said he liked it. I did ask him why he yawned throughout, but apparently it was due to him having to live blog at the same time. Good enough for me. Anyway, aside from a couple of people who didn’t “get” it, everyone else said very kind things about it, which made me very happy. Thanks you lovely people.

Drew won the props war, with his supremely confident distribution of placards. He generally had me in stitches throughout. What few knew is that Drew and I had discussed all manner of props, and I too had readied placards, plus badges and couple of widgets for the plinth. Unfortunately my own printer let me down an hour before I left for London, and a last-minute Islington-based emergency print-run failed to happen due to the absence of yellow toner, apparently. Hey-ho - just wasn’t meant to be.

Still, when it came to the vote, I think it was clear that I won, although a draw was more fitting and in line with the moral of the tale. Drew may disagree, but he definitely saw all those design votes. I dunno, maybe I should be generous and say it was a 50/50 split. Either way, it was a blast, and I think we both really enjoyed it, not least because you all laughed at our funny bits. Gor bless yer.

A very social conference, and I have now lost my voice

I don’t think I have ever talked quite so much in my life. I literally talked to people for three days solid. My voice has all but gone now, but it was certainly worth it. It was a joy to spend so much quality time with my Brit Pals (who frequently chastise me for being a hermit) plus many of the folks I first met last year. I especially enjoyed the incessant attempts to convert Jason Santa Maria into a truly English “chap”. Certainly, the warm ale, bangers and mash, and faux pipe smoking were befitting such a smashing gentleman. I guess dinner with Joe, Mark (and the charming Missus), Andy and Ian could have been better, but at least it was the atrocious food - not the company - that was to blame. I especially enjoyed meeting partners (and even offspring) of quite a few friends. @Media, the family conference.

It’d be foolish to try and list all the great people I was lucky to meet and spend time with this year, as I’ll only fail to mention a few. Besides, three days on the warm bitter has addled my noggin somewhat. That said I must mention the super-Dutch folks who were out in force, especially Hugo, Low (Lodewijk), Kristiann and Chantal. As yet unlinked hat doffs to Chris the Scouser from Colchester, and the gentlemanly Joe Epstein. I failed to grab cards or further info from many of those who said “hello”, and some of you had very long names, so do drop me a line.

I would also like to apologise for continually giving books to female attendees, but I’d like to think that such behaviour can be considered forgivable.

As much as I enjoyed attending previously as a member of the Agenzia team, it was especially good to be representing (with Jamie Pittock) our own company - now eight months old and strong as an ox. Top marks to Jamie for putting up with me for three full days and nights, and thank you to everyone who asked how Erskine Design is doing. We still didn’t meet any awesome or potentially so Notts-based designers or developers in need of work though. Shame, as we need some.

What was my point? Yes. Sociable. Definitely. There seems to be even more “networking” (read smoking) time built in with every new conference, and most agree that this is vital. Lots of new friends, ideas, and it now appears that I owe drinks to half of the Netherlands, Philly, Brighton, and even a tiny part of Singapore. When the final panel summed up, we ran to the pub, and I had the very best seat outside, facing the sun and leaning back on the wall, with a pint in hand and friends all around. I had one of those “I’m so glad I do what I do” moments, and I see no harm in sharing that with you.

A quick thank you

Anyway, I have waffled on for far too long as usual. To conclude, I just wanted to say thank you to Andy Clarke, Jon Hicks, Drew McLellan, Mark Boulton, Jamie Pittock, Oliver Wood and Patrick Griffifths for the support - no matter how small or merely verbal - with my presentation. Much appreciated, chaps. Pints owed.

Joe Clark’s live-blogging notes

Joe Clark‘s live-blogging notes from our presentation, notes from Jason Santa Maria’s presentation, notes from Mark Boulton’s presentation, notes from Jon’s presentation and notes from Håkon Wium Lie’s presentation.

#700 | 10/06/07 | Inspiration Observations Web stuff | More >

Malarkey at the Adult Shop

6th December 2006

Just to prove that I certainly don’t tell porky pies, here is photographic proof of Andy Clarke transcending the traditional shopping experience…

#673 | 06/12/06 | Observations | More >

The Omni: Stuntpad, beanbag, luuurve seat!

29th November 2006

So, I got me one of those amazing Omni beanbags from Sumo Lounge the other week, and I’ve been trying it out on those rare occasions of rest and recuperation.

I’d been intrigued by the reviews from my good friends Cameron, Oxton and Arber, and when I was asked if I could accommodate one of these monster seating devices in my modest house, I jumped at the chance. So, having spent a couple of weeks “experimenting” with it, what’s my verdict?

#670 | 29/11/06 | Observations | More >

Best thing on the internet

21st July 2006

In three years my opinion hasn’t changed. The best thing on the internet is still Elbow’s cover of Destiny’s Child’s Independent Women, performed by Joel Veitch’s northern kittens outside The Gun public house.

Or am I wrong?

#629 | 21/07/06 | Observations | More >

World Cup: Best and Worst bits

6th July 2006

The FIFA World Cup is almost over, bar the Third-Place Play-Off and the Final.

In the hope that these two remaining games produces footballing magic the likes of which we could never imagine, I have compiled my Top 10 Best, and my Top 10 Worst moments. In other words, the final is usually so dull that it is sure to be incredible now that I have declared my best bits.
If you are Portuguese, I beg you to go easy on me. Alternatively, cry wolf, start protesting because everything isn’t going your way, and pretend you got a kick in the bollocks…

#625 | 06/07/06 | Observations | More >